STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES ALONG THE WAY

Ever felt a lump in your throat ,a big headache, some stomach cramps , a dont know what to do syndrome , stuck in a limbo, a continuous disappointment and a day when nothing was right??"Ever felt a sense of helplessness and boredom?Ever felt the world was against you and you were just nobody?Perhaps you were really stressed and conquered by all the stressors around you. Modern living and its demands will strangle you with stress.The traffic jam with the cars all neck top neck crawling and the inconsiderate drivers who overtook you right or left made you angry right?Look at those motorcyclists whose sense of space is completely distorted just waiting to knock or be knocked by your car.And you reached your office with piles of unattended or uncompleted work to be accomplished.In schools if you are a good teacher you will graciously accept all the directives from your boss or senior regardless of whether you are burnt out with never ending expectation.

What about life stressors like health., inadequate income, failure at your job, no promotion ,separation from your beloved ones and debts to be paid? Even the arrival of a new baby causes stress or a promotion.Yes indeed the causes of stress are numerous.You cannot delete these stressors but you can avoid some encounter with them or reduce the possibility of a head on collision. Ever looked a stressful face? No smile no light no plesantness just plain bored look and one of full of apathy or indifference.To be constructive or motivated one need a bit a reasonable amount of stress. However stress overload for a continuous period spells disaster for your mental health.Thus everyday you should examine your attitude, soul and strengths. Everday check your moods and whether the moods are negative and consistently low. To begin with develop a healthy self concept and self esteem.

You got to reward yourself and have a pat on your back. No one will reward you most of the time and so you should be kind to your honored and esteemed self. Being kind to yourself means acknowledging your eccentricity. Remember the famous quote ""Dont worry because worry is a great killer"Norman Vincent Peale once reflected on a question asked by one of the participants in his seminar . The question was "Sir I am indeed so depressed: Can you tell me where i can have no stress?"To this query Peale showed the curious man the cemetry and he told the man that indeed in that cemetry lies the dead who are no longer living and therefore logically have no stress.(Of course we are not talking about the hereafter here)

The effects of overloaded stress are numerous such as psychosomatic illness, lack of productivity at work , poor interpersonal relationships and a distorted view of yourself and life .Therefore look at every disappointment as a challenge and as an opportunity to become better for it is not the failure that counts but the step you undertake to stand up after each fall to become a stronger person. Since the environment we live in contains stress try to eliminate stress by identifying the stressors.

If you have a nasty poisonous character in the workplace ignore or aviod him because he will be a wet blanket minifying your dreams. Avoid pessimists who nwill tell you it is going rain everyday although you know sunshine will come out and the day will be bright. My friend Psychologist Dato Dr Mat Saat Baki once mentioned if you are stressed change your moods . He said he whistles everytime he walks because that makes him very happy. Of course Mr Bean will keep your stress level down by making you laugh.

Maybe we should honor Steven Covey 's principles such as do your planning early because its mighty important for the long run. One who likes to wipe out fires and get cramed at the deadline will face stress. Everyday first thing in the morning list your gratitude to God for the whole world at your feet. I remarked to a counselor recently that i feel that i am just doing so many things and am not certain at times where i am heading. He responded "Live your life to the fullest and count the roses along the way "

There is this song by Mac Davis which one should look into and appreciate the lyrics. We need thus to be in the right mental frame to be able to appreciate life and to find meaningfulness in everthing that we do. We need the coping skills to manage stress such as cognitive restructuring, a sense of belonging , humbleness , gratitude to God , a healthy body, great self esteem and support. In his book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari Robin S Sharma said "When one consistently direct one's mind to live in the present one will always have boundless energy , no matter what time the clock reflects" and many of my friends including a bright young engineer Wan Ahmad Jailani Wan Ngah agreed to this mainly "Yesterday has gone so live for today and tomorrow and be a better person" .


And to quote Maureen stress is not what happens to us . It is our response to what happens and response is something we can CHOOSE. For me personally i have faced several challenges in my life but i am grateful i have met those challenges to make me more experienced and perhaps wiser today.

Remember what Mareen Pace said" Stress is the trash of modern life; we all generate it but if you dont dispose it properly it will pile up"